Sometimes I have 2 remind myself y I’m here. Y I’m 37yrs of age & still determined …still driven 2 create. Y even in a world full of chaos and mixed emotions…I still have too…still need too. Cuz it’s not cuz the rewards r great. I mean, I can’t say that im living lavishly off of my talents. Or that no matter how great my material is, it’s not being appreciated by the masses. I could tell u all day y it should b tho. As a human my belief & my confidence wanes & I start 2 question my purpose. My role in this world, my job or if my particular brand of awesome is even needed. Why I fight 4 those fleeting moments that I can steal in a day 2 do what it is that I do. To be at 1 with myself and with the music.
With a life full of commitments and responsibilities it’s not the relationship it once was. I can remember days spent tucked away with a 4 track or an adat, knocking out an album in less than a week…now it can take a week 2 finish a song & it’s not cuz im any less creative…maybe some days less inspired but just have less opportunities 2 pour myself into it. So I have 2 remind myself that I do this cuz…it’s who I am. It’s my solace, my sanctuary, my core. It’s a high I will pry chase until they close my coffin or cast off my ashes and even then I hope they bury me with a maschine and a fender tele 4 comfort. It’s what I was built 4. Songs fill my head when im at the 9-5 faking it 2 pay the bills, when I’m driving in my car, or playing with my kids. Granted my kids inspire me and motivate me 2 do better or a least b a truer version of myself. A version closer 2 the person I was supposed 2 b & wit that comes a little more peace than what I had b4.
Sometimes I need 2 b reminded that no matter what distractions life throws at me…I will always have the music